My Heart is Yours
by SunStar123
Summary: Her heart always belonged to him, whether he wants it or not... Takes place after Worlds. Payson/Sasha
1. You'll Never Be Him

_A/N Hi! This is my very first fanfic! I hope you enjoy! _

_Disclaimer: I do not own Make it or Break it or any of its characters, it belongs to ABC Family_

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><p>I watched as Max stumbled in making his way towards me, his eyes shining of nothing but love. He had a neck brace cradling his broken collarbone, a full leg cast and some bruises which still looked tender. My eyes went wide as a bunch of questions zipped through my mind.<p>

_What was he doing here? Was he looking for Lauren? Did he really say my name when he was on medication? Does he love me? _

As I was lost in thought, I didn't realize how close Max had gotten. He was a few inches away from my face, looking deep down into my eyes.

"Payson…" he started, barely a whisper. I locked eyes with him and I knew I would regret hearing his words. I had thoughts of making a quick escape, but I was trapped under his gaze, and couldn't move my legs.

"What are you doing here Max? You should be resting in the hospital." I interrupted before I could hear something I wasn't ready for, but it was no use. He moved an inch closer and the smell of medicine invaded my senses.

"P-Payson, I-I love you," he paused and gazed into my eyes. I couldn't believe it. I couldn't believe that a boy who loved Lauren also loved me. Guys like Max don't love Payson 'the hulk' Keeler; they love Lauren 'queen of the beam' Tanner and all the benefits that come with it.

I also couldn't believe that anyone at all loved me. Payson, the gymnastics robot. Max was really sweet and somehow, if we were in a different world where my heart wasn't already stolen, I could love him too, but this isn't another world. This is reality, where my heart was already stolen by the infamous Sasha Belov, four time gold medalist.

I snapped out of my trance when Max cupped my cheek. His touch wasn't the same as _his._ All those light touches in the gym as he corrected my positions on my floor routines or the way he led me somewhere with his hand slightly brushing the small of my back. Max just wasn't the same.

Max Spencer could never fix the hole in my heart. Max Spencer could never make me entirely happy. Max Spencer could never be Sasha Belov.

I glanced over Max's shoulder and found the inhabitant of my heart. Sasha Belov. He had a sadness in his eyes that I didn't quite comprehend. He ran a hand through his short, sandy hair in frustration.

_We won worlds, what could he possibly be upset about? _I took a deep breath and thought it over. _If I can't have the one I love, I might as well be with the one that loves me. _

"Payson, I-I have to tell you something first," Max whispered, jerking me out of my thoughts. There I made a decision, one that would change my life.

"I don't care, I'm so happy to see you" I cut him off and rose to the balls of my feet and wrapped my arms around his neck. I smiled as he hugged me back, but it didn't feel the same. I opened my eyes and conveniently met _his_ eyes.

I watched as his fist tightened and his jaw clenched, and my smile faded away almost instantly. His eyebrows furrowed and he shook his head to himself and stormed out of the stadium. I let out a sigh and realized what I had been denying to myself for all this time.

_My heart belonged to Sasha Belov, whether he wanted it or not. _

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><p><em>AN I'm still not sure if I should continue or leave this as a one shot... so R&R! :D_


	2. Bitter Sweet

_A/N Thank you for the reviews! I decided to keep it going for now and see how far it comes along. _

_Disclaimer: I do not own Make it or Break it or any of it's charecters, it belongs to ABC Family_

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><p>Chapter 1<p>

_Payson's POV_

I plastered a smile on my face as everybody filed into Kaylie's house. It was barely seven o'clock and everyone started piling in already. For a party that starts at nine, you would think people would start to arrive at nine. Kaylie strutted over wearing her pumps and tilted her in confusion at me.

"What?" I asked, feeling uncomfortable. I cringed when she didn't reply and continued to stare.

"No, it's just this party is for winning our gold at Worlds, you look smoking hot in that dress, there are about a million guys _including _your _new _boyfriend Max here, and you're wearing a fake smile pretending to have fun, what gives?" I sighed. There was a lot wrong and I didn't feel like explaining it to Kaylie.

"It's nothing Kaylie, really" she glared at me, her brown curls framed her face while she batted her eyelashes at me disapprovingly. After a moment she nodded and decided to let it go.

"Pay, if there's anything you want to talk about, I'm here for you. Now, let's go serve more drinks at our own party?" she asked with a playful smile and handed me a tray. I chuckled and gladly took it off her hands; I would've done anything to get away from this awkward topic.

"I can't believe we have to work at our own party." I stated, trying to redirect the conversation. Kaylie nodded understandingly. "I mean doesn't your mother usually hire people for this?" She laughed throwing her head back a little.

"Yeah, I can't believe it either. They apparently all quit today on strike hoping for better pay. Go figure. So just give a glass to anyone who doesn't have one and then you're done." She smiled and walked off, towards Austin I presumed.

"Wait!" I yelled towards Kaylie. She turned around and looked concerned.

"Yeah? Is something wrong Pay? You still have your cast on your foot, does it hurt? You shouldn't be walking around putting pressure on that, here let me take the tray." She reached out, but I turned so she couldn't take it away from me.

"No Kay, it's not that, but do me a favor and please don't tell Max that I'm here." I smiled pleadingly at her and she offered a small smile and nodded.

"Okay… but you're telling me why later okay?" I nodded quickly and gave her a quick hug.

"Thanks." And with that, I turned away to serve drinks. Somehow, I wished I would run into Sasha. Ever since Worlds, where he stormed out of the stadium, he had been doing a spectacular job avoiding me. I didn't understand why, but I knew I couldn't just live it. I walked around mindlessly offering everyone a sweet smile as I handed them drinks.

I finally reached the end of the huge living room and next to the patio. I turned around and saw everyone dancing the night away to an upbeat song I didn't recognize. Emily was bopping her head along with Damon by her side, who conveniently popped into Boulder to congratulate Emily on our big win. Kaylie was standing on the far corner of the room with Max and Austin who were induced in her conversation. Lauren, of course, was in the middle of the dance floor, busting out moves that attracted more than just a few wandering eyes. I heard the sound of shattering glass behind me that pulled me out of my thoughts.

"Oh crap" I heard in a smooth British voice from beyond the patio doors. I turned around and met his clear blue eyes. I took a deep breath and walked towards him. With all the thoughts that crossed mind, only one stood out from the rest.

_Here goes nothing._

_Sasha's POV_

There weren't many things that I admired in this world. Half of it was filled with bloody politicians and the other half, with people like Ellen Beals and Steve Tanner. I didn't ever in my life admire too many people. One of the few, was my former coach Nicolai. I admired what he stood for and how he turned me around. He showed me what it meant to harness my power, to channel my anger through gymnastics.

Another thing I admired was gymnastics itself. Gymnastics showed me that there was a better way to get out my anger than just punching several holes in the wall, hoping the pain would go away. Gymnastics made me feel in control of my life again, well, enough control to win four gold medals that is.

One of the most admired in my life has got to be the gymnast who touched my heart, Payson Keeler. I had always thought that women were easy to figure out, and gymnasts were even easier. One glance and I had most women I've dated in my life figured out. That was before Payson.

The girl whose life was a miracle story. The girl who amazed me every day. The girl who stole my heart.

There was no one word to describe Payson Keeler. She had turned my entire life upside down the moment she chased after me at the Rock, begging me to be their coach, her coach. At that very moment I thought I knew the girl standing in front of me.

A girl who would say or do anything to get to the top. The champion. Little that I know that I was completely wrong. Payson Keeler was not a pushover who did anything and everything people wanted, just to reach her goal. No, Payson was a strong, determined athlete who put up no crap from anybody, including myself. She didn't care that I was an Olympian, it was her way or no way. The strong headed girl astonished me every day from the shy, timid girl I had expected her to be.

Just as I thought I had known everything there was to know about Payson, she was struck with the life changing accident. Coming back from the injury had been one of the toughest times of her life. Then only did I find out that Payson Keeler was not the strong headed, solid as a rock, one sided girl I thought she was. I saw her, day by day, wilting away as nobody believed that she could do it. Nobody believed that Payson Keeler, power gymnast, could find her way back into the world of gymnastics. Like a baby bird abandoned by its mother she slowly started unraveling out of the tough exterior she had built for herself.

I was there for her, telling her she was beautiful, but she didn't believe me. She came back, as a Phoenix rises out of its ashes, more beautiful than ever. She said goodbye to Payson Keeler, the power gymnast, and started living life as Payson Keeler, the artistic gymnast. The stories she told with her body only made me believe in her even more that she could make the most phenomenal come back in the history of gymnastics.

But she didn't believe me. She didn't believe that she was beautiful enough, or graceful enough. She didn't believe that she could marry her grace with her beauty and come back better than ever.

I had failed at my job, I still couldn't make her believe that she was good enough. I couldn't tell her how beautiful she was, or how much I loved her. I couldn't take her out on romantic dinners or simply dance with her and convince her she was just as beautiful as Kaylie, Lauren and Emily. I couldn't convince her how much I love her. I couldn't even tell her I loved her at all.

There was more than one reason why I couldn't tell her how I felt. To begin with, it's against the law. She's still a minor and it would probably put her career on stake for me to begin a relationship with her. Another was that I was her coach. Being her coach, I'm supposed to be there for her in every way possible, as long as I don't harm her. Being with Payson would do her a lot more harm than good.

I sighed at all the pain and resentment and took another sip of my Scotch, as it burned through my throat. Sitting in the Cruz's patio, I admired two things. The feel of the warm breeze of the Colorado Mountains, and the love of my life, Payson Keeler.

I watched as she went around serving drinks to everyone at the party which was hosted for _her_ accomplishment. Leave it to Ronnie Cruz to make the best decisions. I watched as her dress flowed around her knees and moved with her body. A small scowl appeared on my face when she seemed to have finished serving her share of the drinks, and started looking for somebody. Probably Max Spencer. The boy who she probably thinks stole her heart. I saw the way he looked at her when he first entered the Rock. Not as a friendly gesture of acknowledgment, but as the way a man looks at the women he loves, and I didn't like it one bit.

At first I told myself that Payson just wanted to be his friend, but soon I felt like I was lying to myself to keep my heart from shattering into a million pieces. Slowly roles shifted and Payson started looking at Max with awe, as if she loved him back. Who would blame her? The kid sweet talked his way into Healthy Bar giving her their endorsement money.

After worlds, which Spencer didn't perform at because of his unexpected accident, he came to visit Payson and propose his love to her. I saw the way her eyes lit up when she threw her arms around him. At that moment, it took me every ounce of self control I had in my body to resist the urge of grabbing Max Spencer by the neck and punching him to the bloody pulp for holding her in his arms. I clenched my fist and saw the way Payson's smile disappeared when she saw me, but the only thing I had in my mind at that moment was to get out before I did something I regretted.

Ever since Worlds, I made a record by making sure I stayed away from Payson whenever I saw her. I couldn't bear looking at her without feeling the anger boil in my blood. Payson Keeler did not deserve that. Payson Keeler deserved to be happy. But whether she knows it or not,

_His heart belonged to her, whether she wanted it or not. _

With all the emotions brewing inside me, I hadn't realized when I dropped my glass of Scotch. It shattered on the ground, sending shards flying in all directions, attracting what I had been avoiding all week, Payson's attention. I immediately ducked my head, pretending to pick up the glass.

"Oh crap." I muttered as I saw a pair of high heels making their way over to me.

_Ready or not, here she comes. _

_Payson's POV_

I strutted towards him much like Kaylie had to me earlier that day, confident yet utterly confused. I saw he was trying to avoid my gaze by pretending to pick up the glass he had dropped moments ago. After a few moments passed by, I couldn't handle the tension filled atmosphere anymore.

"Can I talk to you Sasha?" I saw him stiffen and eventually let out a sigh. He looked up at me offered me a small nod and motioned for me to sit on the lounge chair across from him. We sat for several minutes in an awkward silence that neither of us were willing to address. I finally sighed and decided to get straight to the point.

"Why are you avoiding me? I didn't do anything wrong." I stated, defending myself even before any of his cocky retorts was attacked at me. He still kept his head down and didn't answer my question. I decided to try again,

"Sasha, answer me." Again, we sat in a silence filled with so much tension, you could cut through it with a knife. He simply ran his hand through his hair and continued to stare at his shoes. I reached out and covered my small hand over his, which was rested on the table next to us. I felt him stiffen under my grip, but I refused to pull it away till he answered. "Sasha" I tried again. This time it came out barely a whisper. After a few more moments he finally broke down and opened his mouth to speak, and when he did, it was nothing I expected.

"How's that boyfriend of yours? Shouldn't you be dancing with him in there instead of asking me meaningless questions out here?" I winced at the word 'boyfriend' coming out of Sasha's mouth. I felt all my muscles tighten as he attacked me about Max.

_Was he really this mad about what he saw with Max? He made it perfectly clear he had no interest in me when he pushed me away when I kissed. _I felt all the anger that had been building up, release as those words sunk in.

_"Excuse me?" _he pulled his hand away from under mine and leaned back into his chair, raising his eyebrows, challenging me to answer him. That set it over the edge.

"You have no right to talk to me like that Sasha, Max never did anything to hurt me or my gymnastics and by no way can you stereotype us to be anything we aren't!" I yelled. "So why don't you stop avoiding the topic and answer my damn question!" I was furious. The blood in my veins was at the maximum boiling point. I sighed and glanced at Sasha who, to my surprise, had his eyes open wide, and his jaw dropped low. He finally snapped out of his daze and cleared his throat. I took a couple of deep breaths, as an effort to calm down my nerves, but nothing helped.

He must've sensed it because he reached out and took my tiny hand into his bigger one and offered a little squeeze. All the tension in my body instantly disappeared at his touch, and clearly he seemed to notice because he had a smug little smirk settled on his face, his eyes shining at mine.

"I'm sorry Payson," he offered lamely. I rolled my eyes, and he chuckled. "Okay, I'm sorry Payson Keeler for avoiding you like the plague all week and to top it, for being an arse and making fun of your apparently very loving relationship with Max." I smiled as he attempted to deepen my understanding on why he was sorry. "So are we okay?" he asked intertwining our hands. I felt a shock go through my body. As he did and usually at that point, I expected him to pull away, but to my surprise, today he didn't, and it gave me hope. Hope that maybe he felt the same way about me.

_Snap out of it Keeler, you have a boyfriend who loves you and cares about you._

In the background a slow song started playing, one that all couples danced to. I saw Kaylie being dragged by Austin onto the dance floor as he pulled her close, with her cheek resting upon his chest. My smile faded when I figured how unlucky I was because I could never do that with the man I loved, but I did have Max. I mean, how different could it be? I was shaken out of my thoughts when I felt Sasha get up. I looked up at him and he smiled warmly at me. He reached his hand out as a polite gesture.

"Payson Keeler, will you dance with me?" I smiled and nodded, as I took his hand to hoist myself up.

_Maybe Max can wait a little longer. _

"I'm not going in there if that's what you're implying because I dance like a fool." I muttered, suddenly feeling self concise. Sasha barked out a laugh.

"Okay fine, we can be fools and dance out here, does that sound okay to you?" I nodded and locked my arms around his neck. He placed his hands on my waist. We slightly swayed with the Colorado wind. We were both making light movements in the silence, but this time, the silence wasn't tension, it was a comfortable silence. I gently laid my cheek into his chest; he hummed and wrapped his arms tighter around my waist in response. I loved this feeling, me in his arms, throwing caution out the wind.

"You never answered my question you know, you can only distract me for so long Sasha." He leaned in towards my ear to respond.

"Are you sure your boyfriend wouldn't mind me stealing you?" he spoke lowly and huskily into my ear. I shivered. I navigated my hands down to his broad shoulders and pushed him back enough so I could respond.

"Don't avoid my question, Sasha." He locked me under his gaze, but I cut it off with a stern look. He let out a big sigh and brought me in closer to him and brought his head back down to my ear.

"Te iubesc Payson Keeler, niciodată o îndoială că, dar este cel mai bine vă las pentru moment. Veţi vedea din nou atunci când mă momentul potrivit." He murmered into my ear. And with that said, he pressed a kiss to my cheek. He pulled back and I felt myself lost in his beautiful, blue eyes. He cupped my cheek with one hand and stroked the skin gently with his callused thumb. I leaned into his touch, relishing the feel of it. I felt a tear gather in the corner of my eye. I could cry at the rightness of this.

_This is what you would miss if you tried to fake it with Max. He just isn't the same, Keeler. Sasha's special, but you can't have him, so just hold onto these moments. _

"Sasha, I have no idea what you just said to me, but I have to tell you something."

_Come on Keeler, tell him you dont love Max as much as you love him. _

Before I could continue his lips were upon mine. He moved tentivly at first, as if asking for permission, but as soon as I started kissing him back, he started kissing me more thoroghly. I felt the wall break. We threw caution out the window for this one moment, the special moment we got to be together. His hands wandered back down to my waist where he held me firmly, pulling be closer to him. My hands reached back to the nape of his neck, through his hair and back down to his shoulders, relishing how he feels for the final time as I felt him slowing down to a stop. Our foreheads pressed together, we both tried to control out breathing again, gasping for air. When I returned back to normal breathing, he was staring at me with loving eyes. He pressed a soft kiss to the crown of my head and smiled sadly at me.

"La revedere pentru acum, iubito"

With that said, Sasha Belov held his head high and walked away right in front of my eyes. There was the same sadness in his tone and eyes I didn't quite understand from Worlds. I felt a joy bloom in my chest.

_Sasha Belov kissed me. _

I smiled dumbly at the way it sounded. I was overwealmed with so much joy that I didnt at all realize what had happened. I was standing at the Cruz's patio completly struck with awe.

"Pay?" Kaylie broke me out of my trance. "Were you here alone all this time?" I looked up at her and shook my head. Suddenly, it dawned on me and I frantically got up and limped out the door and onto the Cruz's parking lot and Sasha's truck was nowhere to be found. I felt a tear fall down my cheek. I collapsed and fell to my knees, sobbing hystarically.

"Pay... what's wrong?" she pulled me in for a hug and slightly patted my back till I started to control my sobs. "What's wrong?" I slowed down my breathing and looked at her.

"Can I stay over with you tonite?" I asked, tears still flowing from the corners of both my eyes. "I don't want my parents to see my like this." Kaylie took a minute to think about it, but eventually nodded.

"Now what's wrong?" Kaylie pushed again for an answer. I took a deep breath before answering her. I couldn't bring myself to say it. My uncontrollable sobs started again, hitching at my throat.

"I think Sasha's leaving again, this time for good."

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><p><em>Translations: <em>

_Te iubesc Payson Keeler, niciodată o îndoială că, dar este cel mai bine vă las pentru moment. Veţi vedea din nou atunci când mă momentul potrivit: I Payson Keeler love, never doubt that, but it's best for you I leave this time. You'll see me again when the right time_

_La revedere pentru acum, iubito: Bye for now, love _

_A/N I hope you like it! I kinda wasn't sure if I should've broken this into two chapters or kept it as a long one, what do you think? Please R&R! Thank you JCI, lda-cullen, LauraW89, and Ksue for your reviews! Tell me what you think!  
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	3. A Stroll Down Memory Lane

_A/N Here's another chapter. A big thanks to all who reviewed the story! This chapter was just something I really wanted to write and I figured this would be a good time. I really love the idea of deja vu, so I figured, why not write about it? Anyway, tell me whether you like it or not. _

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><p>Chapter 2<p>

"Mom, there's nothing to discuss here. I promise that I'm _just_ going to Kaylie's house for sleepover." I tried to keep my voice from cracking, yet again satisfying my mother with her ridiculous assumptions. I knew she was trying to look out for my best intrest and was trying to protect me, but I needed her to believe that I was going to be fine. I watched as my mom searched my face for any signs of despair.

"Okay Pay, but you haven't been the same ever since Sa… _he_ left again." I rolled my eyes. Of course I wasn't the same. The man I loved, out of the blue, kissed me, mumbled something in Romanian, and left me. He left me. I let out a breath I didn't realize I was holding. She reached out and gave my hand a squeeze, waiting for me to say something.

"Mom of course I'm upset, he promised me that he'd take me to the Olympics, me, not Kaylie or Emily or Lauren. Me, and now he bailed on me just like last time except this time I _know_ that it's my fault." I felt tears gathering in the corner of my eyes again. It hurt me more this time knowing that it wasn't because of Kaylie's eating disorder, or Emily's prohibition. This time it was because he kissed me, because he possibly loved me, and knowing Sasha Belov, he's probably hiding away somewhere blaming himself for what happened, and I wanted to do nothing more than to be there with him, telling him I feel it too. I looked up and Kim and she looked uneasy at the way I blamed myself. I cringed under her gaze.

"See? You keep _declaring_ it's your fault, but you won't tell me why! How am I supposed to help you if you don't let me into your thinking?" Kim's eyes were filled with concern and I could see she was perplexed at my answers. Sasha had always been a touchy subject that neither of us were willing to address. The only time it was brought to attention was when the infamous kiss went public, and from that we figured that talking about it just made it worse.

"Mom, I don't need help. I need the car keys to go see Kaylie. Please?" I could tell she was weighing her options, every single one of them. Ever since the after World's party, Kaylie and I had grown very close. She willingly tried her very best to make me feel better about Sasha's leaving. Everytime I thought back to the night, I felt like I was walking on eggshells.

_I felt the warm mountain air around me turn cold. It felt like a slap in the face knowing that Sasha left again, only this time it was my fault. If I hadn't been so engrossed in moving past my love for Sasha, I wouldn't have resorted to trying to love Max who was just a good friend. I felt the endless river of tears flowing down my cheeks, over my neck and staining my dress. My knees unbuckled and I landed on the concrete of the Cruz's parking lot. I heard the distant sound of Kaylie's high heels clanking towards me. I didn't make an attempt to wipe my tears away, saving my pride. _

_"Pay, what's wrong?" __she pulled me in for a hug and slightly patted my back till I started to control my sobs. __"__What's wrong?" I slowed down my breathing and looked at her. _

_"__Can I stay over with you tonite?" I asked, tears still flowing from the corners of both my eyes. __"__I don't want my parents to see my like this." Kaylie took a minute to think about it, but she eventually nodded. _

_"__Now what's wrong?" Kaylie pushed again for an answer. I took a deep breath before answering her. I couldn't bring myself to say it. My uncontrollable sobs started again, hitching at my throat. _

_"__I think Sasha's leaving again, this time for good." Kaylie's eyes went wide and we both froze. She tried best to hide her shock and fear when she spoke to me, but it __was no use. _

_"Why would you think that Pay… what did he say to you…" I looked up at her to answer, but she was already gone by then. I saw her run into the house. I didn't know why or what for. I sat in silence, hearing the wind whisper to me. Kaylie ran back out and helped me get back on my good leg. Without further a due she held tight and helped me limp over to her big, black SUV. _

_"Come on, get in." I knew what she was thinking and I was all for it. We had to see Sasha and see if I was right about this. Most of the ride to the Rock was silent. We were itching to see if the Airstream was still there with Sasha inside. I was broken out of my trance when Kaylie's curiosity finally got the best of her._

_"Pay, what makes you think he's leaving?" I didn't know what to say to her. How did I know? Was it that he kissed me or was I just out of my mind? Should I tell her what happened? _

_"Kay, just do me a favor and drive me there, I can't tell you why, but I can tell you that I'm almost positive that he's gone." Kaylie glanced at me with uncertainty written all over her face._

_"Okay… but I'm driving your ass to the Rock so I deserve to know something…" she started. I sighed and looked at her. _

_"I promise I'll tell you why if he's still there. If he isn't, we just keep this moment to ourselves and pretend we didn't know he was leaving when we go to train tomorrow, okay?" I small smile crept up to the petite brunettes face and she nodded. _

_"Okay, but get ready to tell me everything because Sasha made a promise to us, that he wouldn't leave us till the Olympics in 2012, so I doubt he's gone." _

_"I hope your right Kay…" With that said we pulled into the parking lot of the Rocky Mountains Gymnastics Center. My eyes jolted around to find the giant trailer, but I couldn't spot it from inside the car. The anxiety getting the best of me, I jumped out of Kaylie's moving SUV, throwing concern for my sprained ankle out the window. To my surprise, the Airstream was parked right outside the Rock, in its usual spot. Kaylie ran after me and slowed to a stop next to me when she realized where my eyes were focusing. _

_"See? Sasha's still here. I knew he wouldn't leave us." I nodded, still disbelieving that Sasha was still here. The tension between us was so familiar. Still skeptical, I marched over to the front door (the only door) and knocked. There was no response. I tried again, and again. Again. Kaylie walked up next to me and tried herself. _

_"Sasha!" we both yelled in unison. After a few more minutes of knocking, or banging at this point, I walked to the other side looking for his truck. After circling the parking lot a few times, my suspicions were confirmed. I sunk to my knees again and began sobbing. It was very immature of me to cry in the parking lot of my second home, but I couldn't help it. I loved him and he's gone. I tried to snap myself out of it, what was I thinking? I loved Max just as much as Sasha. I could survive without him...right? _

_It was all a blur the next morning. Kaylie had taken me to her house and we had went straight to sleep. She didn't bother me about knowing for the rest of the week. Instead, she spent the time finding ways to try to cheer me up. She took me around to the Pizza Shack, the Spruce Juice and even our old gymnastics camp. She knew that I was fragile on the topic of Sasha and distinctively avoided it whenever Lauren made snarky comments about his leaving. For someone that I thought would never let go without answers, Kaylie Cruz did very well at it. She was a true friend when I needed her, and I'm glad I have her. _

I was broken out of my stupor when I felt my mom's arms around me. For a moment I didn't understand why, but it became clear to me when I felt the hot tears slipping down my cheeks yet again. I pulled away and smiled at her, hoping she would let the topic go. She nodded and gave me the keys. I smiled gratefully and hopped out the door to get to the car. Kaylie had texted me earlier, telling me that I should really talk to her about that night.

A month has passed by successfully avoiding the topic, and I supposed I owed it to her to give her some details about it now.

_An entire month had passed by._

The thought sent me shivers down my spine. I haven't done any productive work at the Rock since Sasha left. On vault, I couldn't even land a one and a half twisting Yurchenko. That was a vault I had mastered even before I became elite. I never had enough power or concentration to land any of my moves. On beam, there hasn't been a single routine I did without falling off at least three times. On bars, every time I step in front of them, all I can visualize is my falling and breaking me back again. I didn't feel the protection I felt when Sasha was around me, guiding me through the motions. Finally, on floor.

Floor was a mess. Floor was supposed to be my sanctuary. I used to be able to just get out there and act out a story, be the story. I used to be able to be Juliette_. _I was in love, and I could connect my routine with my emotions and it turns out beautiful, but I couldn't do it without my Romeo. I wanted Sasha back.

_I needed Sasha back. _

Before I knew it, I was pulling into the Cruz's parking lot. Kaylie was standing in the door way with a bright smile. The smaller brunette greeted me with a warm hug before guiding me into her house, to her room.

"Okay Pay, I know you got my text right?" I settled myself on her bed between two pillows and nodded. She smiled and reached out to touch my hand.

"You don't have to tell me how you knew or anything, but I'm you friend and I'm concerned Pay…" I sighed and she eyes me again, concerned. I hung my head and motioned for her to continue. She nodded and continued,

"Pay you haven't been able to land level seven skills, you have your fear of bars again, your floor routines are just whacked up, and Tara and Jake are at the verge of kicking you out of the Rock." I sighed and looked up.

"I know, but I guess I just miss him. He was the best coach we ever had and now he's just gone. I mean it's like déjà vu isn't it? The first time he left he went to Snagov and hid in a bar because he thought he was hurting us. He was a way better coach than Marty and he was there for me…" I paused realizing what I had said, probably opening myself to another gateway of questions, but she just sent me a small smile and nodded for me to continue. "us, and I just can't believe he would do that to me again. After all that we went through I felt like I grew too close to him to let him go. There might be other coaches out there, but _I_ want Sasha back. I love him so much and I just don't think I can make it to the Olympics without him." I finished with so much passion it left me breathless. I looked up and I saw Kaylie's smile growing.

"What?" I muttered suddenly feeling like a specimen under a microscope, being carefully observed.

"I didn't want to bombard you with random questions and comments when Sasha first left, but I will now." I took a deep breath steadying myself for what I was about to hear. She laid a hand on my shoulder and gave me a comforting smile.

"You love him don't you?" My eyes widened and my jaw dropped. I didn't know what to say. I simply sighed and leaned back into her pillows. She didn't push too much on the subject. There was an unspoken silence that followed.

"I can't do it without him." I whispered. Kaylie looked up at me, but I didn't dare to meet her gaze. She took my hand and gave it a small squeeze.

"If he's affecting you that much, you should contact him, and just talk it through. Maybe it'll clear it up for you." I sighed and shook my head.

"I already tried calling everyone that I thought might know, I called his dad and he said that Sasha made foolish decisions and that he didn't want to take part in it. I also called MJ who told me that if he ever contacted her it would probably be to tell her to shove it… and I asked Summer who just rubbed in her engagement to Steve Tanner in my face saying she didn't care about Sasha anymore… so I don't know who else to contact." Kaylie nodded and we sat through another silence, except this time it was of us thinking.

"Pay, when was the last time you contacted Marty?" I shrugged at the question. I hadn't contacted Marty since the last National Team practice where he was fired.

"Why? You think he might know?" Kaylie shrugged, but pulled me off her bed and yanked me down the stairs to the kitchen, where a very fancy dressed Ronnie Cruz was messing with her makeup.

"Mom, we're taking the car to Denver." Kaylie took the keys and raced out the door before she could protest. Unfortunately for us, Ronnie caught up and stopped Kaylie from closing the car door on her face.

"Where do you think you're going? Where in Denver?" Kaylie and I rolled our eyes simultaneously.

"To go see your boyfriend, where else?" Kaylie asked with innocent eyes and a sickeningly sweet smile. Ronnie face instantaneously turned red. Taking advantage of her surprise, Kaylie slammed the car door shut, and sped out of the driveway. We sat in a silence for a few moments before we both broke out into laughter.

"Nice one Kay." We were both soon gasping for air and finally settled out breathing before we reached Denver. When we reached Denver Elite, I prepared myself for what was going to come.

_I knew what I wanted, and I knew I was going to get it. _

_Marty's POV_

I watched out from my office, onto the gym I was forced to make a success. I had to leave the Rock, my home, to make this home because of an arrogant ass named Steve Tanner. I had to do it for love.

I loved Ronnie Cruz. I liked to think that she loved me too, at the time, to ease some of the pain away. Love was always a very delicate thing, and I knew I loved Ronnie because of the way I was willing to give up my career to save her reputation.

I never put the words Sasha Belov and love in the same sentence. For all I knew, Sasha Belov would never find love. He was known for the greatest record of twisting women's stomachs up in knots. He could never be the one to fall in love and have a stable relationship, ever. Of course that was before last month, when the infamous Sasha Belov marched into the Denver Elite wearing an expression that I recognized as both sorrow and regret.

_The suave Sasha Belov just strode into Denver Elite wearing his signature jacket with his hands stuffed into his pockets. His expression was mixed with both sorrow and regret, an expression you usually don't associate with Sasha Belov. He walked straight into my office and stood in front of me like a lost puppy. _

_"I need you to do me a favor Marty." He mumbled. For a moment I thought about rubbing it in his face that he was asking me for a favor, but I could see in his eyes that he was really hurt. His eyes were bloodshot red, as if he had drunk himself into a stupor, and hadn't got any sleep. _

_"What's wrong Belov? You look like somebody just smacked you with their pet Rhino." I hoped it would spark a smile on his face, but no such luck. He looked up and sighed. _

_"I'm leaving, Boulder and gymnastics." I looked up at him in surprise. I was hoping that he would strike me with a 'ha just kidding' or his signature smirk, but no such luck again. _

_"Belov, whatever this is about you can't abandon the girls. I did that once and they still haven't forgiven me for it. I thought it was worth it to do it for my love of Ronnie, but we all know that didn't work out." I shook my head trying to get back on topic. "What I was saying is no need to jump to random decisions, think about the girls Sasha, think about Kaylie, Lauren, Emily and Payson." Saying Payson's name, it looked like I got his attention, so I continued. _

_"Come on, think of Payson, Belov. She went through so much this year and you already abandoned her once. The girl flies across those apparatuses and does her thing because you're the one who built her confidence back up. She's going to feel lost and alone without you." His expression softened at his little speech about Payson. He paced back and forth running his hand through his short, blonde hair, his face reading of frustration. I tried again,_

_"Think about Payson." And with that, he angrily marched and punched the wall, making a clean hole through it. _

_"I am damn it!" his face was evident 100% with anger but no pain. He sat down on the couch across from me and sighed. "I am." It took me a while to realize what was going on, but the second he said that I knew where this was going. _

_"You love her don't you…" I started. I saw him slightly stiffen at the words, but slowly nod. _

_"I really do." He looked up at me with eyes, clearly filled with love towards his favorite gymnast. He hung his head down again and stared at his shoes. _

_"Then why are you leaving?" I slowly approached the topic with as much rationality as I possibly could. I mean, what was he thinking? Falling in love with a gymnast that was 17? _

_"I have to leave because I love her…" he took a shaky breath before continuing, "My mere presence is hurting her, I couldn't bear if anything happened to her because of my love for her. If the press finds out, it would be a very big deal and it could ruin her career and her reputation, and worst of all, I think she loves me too." I looked at him, disbelieving at first, but soon I understood where he was coming from. He was willing to give up his entire life to save the one he loves, from possible damage of her career or reputation._

_"But if I leave now, I can save her from all that trouble and pain, that new kid Max thinks he loves her, and I think he can make her just as happy." He slowly rose from the couch he had positioned himself on after wrecking my wall, and handed me a box. I looked at him puzzled. _

_"What is it?" he gave me a sad smile. _

_"If Payson ever comes looking for me, give this to her." Those being his last words, the great Sasha Belov strode out of the gym. I didn't quite understand much of what had just happened, but for the first time ever, I respected his choice and knew where he was coming from. _

_He was in love. _

I broke out of my trance when I heard the door fly open and 5' 4" petite blonde strode in with confidence oozing out of her pores. Her hair was in disarray, as if she hadn't gotten any sleep, much like Sasha looked when he strode in here last month. I could see the determination and fire in her eyes as she made her way up the stairs not stopping till she reached her destination. When the door to my office flew open and slammed shut behind her, I knew the look in her eyes, she wanted answers.

Neither of us were willing to speak. I was afraid to say something that might be out of line because I could see her stormy blue eyes were determined, but also had sadness in them, as though one wrong move could set her over the edge to a verge of tears. After several moments of silence Payson spoke first.

"I want to know where he went." She didn't _ask_ me exactly, it was more of a command.

_Leave it to Belov to make a girl go crazy._

"Do you love him?" I knew it was a risky question to ask her and I might break her, but I wanted answers. "Do you?"

"Where is he," she spit out through clenched teeth. I sat back into my chair and waited for an answer. To my surprise she did the same.

We sat it the room for over thirty minutes in complete utter silence. Neither of us dared to speak a word till the other broke down. To both our disappointment we were gymnasts and we had an incredible sense of self control, her more than me. Finally, unable to take the silence any longer, I opened the bottom left drawer of my table and dug through all the trash. I finally found what I was looking for. I picked up the small box and handed it to her. She took it off my hands and looked very puzzled, much like I did when I recieved it.

"What is it?"

"Belov told me to give it to you if you ever found your way over here to ask for him. He didn't exactly tell me where he was going, but I get why. Take good care of whatever's in there, by the way he was holding it before he handed it to me, he wouldn't give it to just anyone." A tear escaped her eye and she cradled it against her chest, her arms tightly wrapped around it as she got up to leave. She sent me a small smile and opened the door to leave.

"Hey Keeler" I called as she made her way down the first two steps. Both she and the small brunette next to her turned around.

"Be good to him, he deserves some happiness in his life." I could see her eyes twinkling with happiness at those words. She returned me with a small smile and strode out with the same confidence she strode in with. I smiled to myself. I was right. She didn't have to say it for me to understand. The way her eyes shine at the sound of his name was enough for anyone who knows her to figure it out.

_She loved him too._

_Payson's POV_

"Come on Keeler, you had the courage to change your entire route to the Olympics by becoming an artistic gymnast, and you don't have the courage to open a little box? What kind of madness is this!" I felt like an idiot staring at myself in the mirror, and shaking a finger at myself about courage. I mean, I had the right to be nervous. If this was the last thing Sasha left for me then of course I had to be nervous. If there's an address of where to find him I would have to figure out how to skip training and go get him.

_Whoa there Payson, slow down, you don't even know he's going to come back. _

Eventually I realized that I wasn't doing myself a favor looking at the negatives and undoing my failed pep talks. I finally gathered up enough courage and opened the box.

On top was a letter that was neatly sealed in an envelope. I tore it open and began reading it.

_Pentru dragostea mea Payson,_

_I know you are probably very mad at me for kissing you and leaving the next moment. By the time you get this letter, you are probably searching at the last place you would have ever thought for me. I know it was wrong of me to just drop you like this and move out of Boulder, but it had to be done. Esti inima mea si sufletul Payson Keeler, nu lasa pe nimeni cred altfel. _

_I know what you are feeling right now. You probably feel more than just a little abandoned by me. I left for your own good, I hope you know that. I was doing you more harm than good, and I know I will leave you more broken than fixed if I stuck around. You might not understand now, but I promise you will understand later. You will see me again when the time is right, this I swear. _

_I want you to keep this letter safe. Anytime you feel the need for my presence, just read it. I have never been one to share my life with anybody, but you are one special __fată care a cucerit sufletul meu. _

_My early childhood was very simple. I was with two parents who loved me and all I had to do was train. Every morning and every night, I spent my day training on every apperatus that I had to compete on. I always loved to do rings. It was the one apperatus I didnt have to think on, i just followed my instincts. Sure I fell on my face a couple of times, but thats life. In the box, I have something for you to see, the pair of grips I wore during my Olympic rings routine, the one that got me gold. I want you to know that no matter how many times you fall, you can always get back up and go for the gold, even without me by your side. _

I dropped the letter onto my lap and dug around the box till I found the grips. I slid both my small hands into the larger grips and smiled. It reminded me of how small I really was compared to him. He made me feel protected. Wearing the grips, I continued to read.

_The next most memorable event that touched my life was when we went to the ballet. I remember the way you were so skeptical about being about to marry your beauty with brawn. I always thought you were the most beautiful women in the entire world, but you never believed me. Hopefully you will the next time Max tells you._

It felt like a slap in the face when I read that. Could Sasha really think that Max was better for me than him? I shook my head and continued reading.

_I remember the way you were mesmerized by Jaden when she was dancing to Swan Lake, however you were more mesmerizing to me. That day I saw you have a break through. You finally believed me that you really can marry brawn with beauty. That was the most beautiful thing I saw all day. I've always been one to keep memories, I hope you will too. In the box I gave you one of my most memorable memories. Tickets to our ballet. Finally, I hope you think more than just about sparkling cider when you think of ballet now._

I dropped the letter yet again to look for the tickets. When I found them, I couldnt help but shed a tear or two. All this time, it wasn't just me who felt it. He felt it too. I continued to read.

_I thought I would die a happy man after ballet, but not surprised that you Payson Keeler, surprised me yet again. The only thing better than watching ballet with you, is watching you dance. I remember the way you were so stubborn about dancing. You really suprised me by all the feelings you had that you could translate into body language. You were definatly the most beautiful women in the entire world. The way you painted that canvas with your dance elements was just breath taking. I live everyday wondering how a 5' 4" petite blonde can throw this many surprises my way. I still have the canvas you painted. It reminded me everyday what a beautiful gymnast you are, and no matter what obstacle is thrown your way, you can over come it and become an Olympian. In the box I packed it for you, I hope you know you can make it to the gold. _

I smiled at his sentiment. He was right, I didnt think I could do it till he proved me wrong. That canvas was a turning point in my life. I took it out and stared at my creation. He was right. I can make it to the gold, no matter what. I yet again, continued reading.

_I've never met anyone more amazing. I feel like my life isn't complete without you, Payson. That's why I want to make you a promise. I promise you that I will see you again. I promise that I will make you happy again. I promise I will show you how much I love you with the little things everyday, if you will have me. All these promises will come true, and till that day, I want you to wear the promise ring in the box. I want you to know I intend to keep all my promises. __Te iubesc__. I love you Payson Keeler, forever and always._

_~ Alexandru Belov _

When I finished reading, there was a sadness in my heart which was accompanied by happiness. I took out the promise ring and slid it on my ring finger on my right hand, sliding off the grips, placing them back in the box. _And I promise to get some answers Sasha, right here right now. _

As I was thinking about how, my phone buzzed with a text message.

_Kaylie: Quick, get over here, Lauren might know where he went. _

_Payson: Okay, I'll be right there in five minutes._

I quickly grabbed the car keys and ran out the door not sparing a moment to think about anything else.

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><p><em>AN I'm not sure if you guys will like this chapter, but I just had to write it. I wanted to do a little deja vu between the two and thought this might be the perfect time with the letter. Tell me if you liked it or not! R&R :)  
><em>


	4. I Need You

Chapter 3

_Sasha's POV _

I thought I was reasonable at hiding, an old house in Cambria where it all began. Nobody except Steve Tanner would think to look here again, and of course, in Tanner's mind, I would never come back here. I wasn't usually a man of my promises. That's what got me labeled the Rebel of England, but the promises I made to Payson, I intend to keep. I intended to go back and make her happy again.

These constant thoughts weren't exactly helping me with 'waiting till the Olympics'. Every day I grow more and more eager to go back and see her, and somehow I don't think fishing is going to fill the void in my heart. I tried anyway. Every morning I dragged myself out of bed, grabbed some bait and went fishing till dawn turned to dusk. I didn't know what else to do to keep me occupied. It was as if when I left Boulder, I left a part of my heart with Payson. I knew she would probably be happy with Spencer if I just waited it out, so that's what I will do. I will wait it out.

I trudged back into my cabin and rested everything on the small table next to the clock. I changed into my night clothes and got ready to go to bed.

_Another day closer to the Olympics Belov, another day closer to seeing her. _

I slowly moved into the bedroom, each step feeling like its being weighed down. When I finally reached the bedroom, I couldn't believe what I was seeing. My eyes went as wide as golf balls and I had to hold the door frame for support.

_Why the hell was Payson Keeler wearing my clothes, sleeping on my bed? _

All the possibilities flew through my head. I couldn't believe this. Were this my eyes playing tricks on me? I decided to rest my case that she was a mirage created by my mind because I missed her.

_Yeah Belov, because that just makes it all better. You're crazy. _

She was lying there, curled up onto her side. Her blonde hair was cascading down her back and her facial expressions were all erased. She looked completely at ease. She was wearing one of my T-Shirts which was too big for her, and a pair of my sweat pants, rolled up to accommodate her tiny waist. I decided not to wake her up, whether this was a dream or not.

I tried to get some sleep, sprawled on the couch, but even with my eyes firmly shut, I couldn't get any sleep. The hours passed by with no sleep and I rolled over onto my stomach to check the time.

_1:00 am_

Great. There were about a million thoughts rambling on and on in my head, but I landed on one thought. _Yep I'm screwed. _Just as I semi-drifted off to sleep, I heard a small voice calling my name.

"Sasha" Her voice was barely a whisper, like an angel. My eyes snapped open and I couldn't believe what I was seeing. A pint sized blonde was staring at me with puppy dog eyes. I unconsciously walked towards her. Four long strides and I was across the cabin. I hovered less then inch over her. I didn't have the heart to touch her, in fear she might disappear if I did. She stared at me with eyes shining of love. I gently brushed a rouge strand of blonde hair off her face, not letting myself do more than that.

Suddenly, before I knew it, my lips were on hers. She wasn't hesitant, she put just as much force as I did and wrapped her hands around my torso, drawing small circles on my back. I let one hand get lost in her loose blonde curls, and another tightened on her waist. She moved her hands up my chest and rested it on my shoulders to get more leverage. I smiled and lifted her up to cover the height difference. On instinct, she wrapped her legs around my waist and locked her arms around my neck.

After what seemed like hours, neither of us willing, we pulled away, gasping for oxygen. Our foreheads were pressed together and she stared into my eyes, her eyes glazed over. I relished the feel of her in my arms and she closed her eyes, soaking it in. We gently swayed, till I finally found the heart to speak, breaking the silence.

"Te iubesc Payson" When those words left my mouth, her eyes snapped open and she jumped out of my arms. I could see the anger grow in her eyes. I took a step closer to her and, before I could see it coming, she threw a punch at my stomach.

"Ow! What the bloody hell was that for!" I rubbed my stomach and her eyebrows fused together.

"Don't go all British on me! You know what that was for! How could you just kiss me then leave? How could you not see how we would be affected by your lapse of judgment? We can't get to the Olympics without you! None of us can! Kaylie's still recovering from her anorexia, Lauren is having mommy troubles with Summer and Emily is... well Emily's doing good actually, but you promised that she could trust you after you knew how hard it was for her to do that. None of us can do it without you. I can't do it without you! We need you!" she paused and looked into my eyes, "I need you." she whispered, almost as if testing the words out. I sighed and pulled her into my arms, hoping she would relax into my embrace. Thankfully she did. I slowly stroked her hair as she sobbed into my chest.

"Shh love, it's okay, you can do it without me, I promise we can be together when the time is right, frumoasa mea dragoste." Her head snapped up again and she landed another punch on my stomach.

"Ow! Stop doing that, love!" she cut me off with her deadly glare.

"I can't do this without you, I need you" she repeated her earlier words. I brushed a piece of hair out of her face and placed a soft kiss to her lips.

"Payson, I can't be around you and pretend to not love you, worse than that, I'm you coach, and you're a minor." She lifted herself to the balls of her feet and wrapped her arms around my neck, buried her face into the crook of my neck and whimpered.

"You won't have to, we can be together, just without telling anybody." She murmured into my neck. I smiled at the way her hair tickled the juncture between my neck and shoulder.

"That doesn't change the fact you're still too young, and that I'm your coach." She frowned and pouted at me.

"Then we'll wait, till the Olympics. Till then we do what you promised me _before_ all this happened." I tilted my head in confusion. She rolled her eyes and smiled. "You promised me the you'll get me to the Olympics. Not Lauren, not Kaylie, not Emily. Me. Now, do you intend on keeping that promise or am I going to have to make you give me another promise ring?" She smiled saucily and gave me a wink. I lifted her right hand and placed a kiss on the ring.

"Are you sure you want _this_ to get in the way of your training? If I come back, I don't want me to be a distraction to you." She barked out a laugh and ran her hand through my hair.

"Sasha Belov, do you think that hiding out in Cambria was going to _help _my gymnastics? I haven't been able to do level 8 skills because I can't concentrate. When you left me again, I felt like you ripped my heart out. Whether you want it or not, my heart is yours." I smiled at her words, all this time she felt the same way.

"Şi a mea este a ta." I pressed a kiss to her forehead. "And mine is yours." I leaned down and captured her lips in a searing kiss. It was finally nice to get what we both wanted. I pulled away and smirked.

"So…" she smiled innocently. "Does this mean you will come with me?" I smiled.

"Of course dragă, how could I not take up the offer when your _clearly _miserable without me." That earned me and eye roll.

"Don't get cheeky old man." I smiled. It suddenly dawned on me all the questions I had.

"Payson. How did you know I was here? How did you get here? Don't your parents know where you are? How did you get into my house? Why are you wearing my clothes?" Before I could finish, she placed a finger on my lips, silencing me.

"Lauren told me that this is where her dad 'discovered' you. I got here using my SUV. My parents think I'm over at Kaylie's house. I got into your house because you didn't lock the door, and it's a long story why I'm wearing your clothes."

P_ayson's POV_

_"Shit." I muttered when the wheels of my car got clunked with mud. I got out and started walking towards the small cabin along the lake. _

_Figures. Leave it to Sasha to live somewhere he can fish. _

_I walked along the side of the river. When I looked out, there he was. Sasha Belov. I was mesmerized by the way the sun bounced off his stubbled cheek. Before I realized it, I took a step towards him and fell into the lake. _

_Leave it to me to do something like that. _

_I got up and examined my clothes which were now soaked. I sighed and walked towards the cabin, with luck I could probably get in and find something to wear. Luckily the door wasn't locked. I walked in and examined the cabin. It was very cozy and warm. The size and place was perfect for a man like Sasha, isolated from society. _

_Perfect. I'm where I wanted to be. Now. Let's find me something to wear._

_I looked through the rooms and my eyes landed on one which looked like it was Sasha's bedroom. I walked in and smiled at the familiarity. It looked very Sasha-esque . There were many pictures all around the room. Right next to the bed, was a picture frame the size of my hand. I picked it up and smiled when I saw the picture. It was a picture of us that we took after my comeback. _

_Focus Keeler. Look for something to wear. _

_I went through the first few drawers and I found a pair of sweatpants that I could probably roll up to fit me. I also found a large T-Shirt that could possibly fit me. I quickly stripped off my drenched clothes and fit into Sasha's oversized ones. It was warm and snugly fit. I felt exhasted after my drive from Boulder. I crawled into the bed and pulled the covers over me. A quick nap would do. I soon drifted to sleep in Sasha's bed. It had his unique scent embedded in the pillow. Cedar. I let the scent slowly lull me to sleep. _

"So your parents don't know you're here?" he asked as he made me some tea. I shook my head.

"My parents think that I'm having a sleepover with Kaylie." He smirked and gave me the cup of steaming hot tea. I took it of his hands and it instantly warmed my entire body. I looked at Sasha who yawned and rubbed his eyes like a little kid, so I walked over to him and pressed a kiss to his neck.

"Is my little Alexandru sleepy?" he nodded and moaned.

"A little blonde gymnast twisted me up in knots and I didn't get any sleep" he stated with a pout. I pulled him closer to me.

"Why don't we go fix that?" Before I could react, Sasha scooped me in his arms and feverishly kissed me. He led me to his bedroom and dropped me on the bed and hovered over me. I threaded my hand through his hair and scraped my blunt nails against his scalp which made him moan. I smiled and brought his mouth back down to mine.

After a few more heated moments, he collapsed next to me and snuggled me into his chest. Our leg entangled themselves and his hand tightened around my waist, soaking my warmth threw his T-shirt I was wearing.

"Sasha?" I murmured into his chest.

"Yes iubită?" He asked tenderly.

"How could you ever leave me like you did?" I felt him stiffen under my grip. He slightly stroked the patch of skin on the small of my back, looking for an answer.

"Our love isn't excepted in the world, I don't want you to hide from who you really are to make our relationship work. I thought that if I left, maybe, you would just go with someone who is better for you, like Spencer." I winced at the mention of Max. I hadn't exactly broken up with him, and I'm pretty sure since I'm canoodling with my coach, I'm cheating on him, but at the moment, I didn't care.

"Running away isn't going to solve any of our problems. We're here, and we wouldn't be if we weren't meant to be together. Screw our problems. Screw Max Spencer. Screw the world." I felt Sasha smile against my hair and pull me closer into his chest.

"If you say so iubită, now go to sleep We have a lot to discuss tomorrow. Noapte buna draga mea."

I let his scent invade my senses and his heartbeat lull me to sleep again.

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><p><em>AN Aww Payson and Sasha are going to let each other finally have what they both wanted, or are they...? Well we have a lot of problems coming up full speed ahead so tell me what you think! I'm open to suggestions and requests for this story so R&R!_


	5. A Dose of Reality

_A/N Thanks to any reviewers who have reviewed to far! You guys keep me going! Well, here's another chapter!_

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><p>Chapter 4<p>

_Sasha's POV_

I stirred awake with the smell of coconut lime invading my senses. Looking down I found a very beautiful looking Payson Keeler curled up into the side of my body. I couldn't help but think about how perfect we were together, like two puzzle pieces. I quickly pressed a kiss to her cheek and rolled out of bed. Today was the day I was going to go back to Boulder and face everyone I abandoned. The thought of having to face my gymnasts scared almost as much it hurt for me to leave. In anyway that I justified myself, it all came down to that I was being selfish.

Picking up my suitcase, I threw in everything I owned into it, trying not to make too much noise for Payson's sake. When I finished packing, I figured I should make Payson some breakfast. I trudged downstairs and I started on the eggs when I felt two arms wrap around my torso.

"Trying to rake up the boyfriend points are we?" I barked out a laugh and turned around to face her.

"Well if you must know, yes I am" I pressed a kiss to her forehead and pulled her in for a quick embrace. I flipped the eggs and added in the vegetables. Payson settled herself on the counter top and watched me work.

"You want to help Miss Keeler?" She quickly nodded and grabbed the knife out of my hand and started chopping up the tomatos.

"So, how have you been love? Anything new happen?" She sighed and let out a groan of misery.

"Yeah thanks for asking. Let's see, I haven't done any productive work at the gym since you left. Kaylie and Austin have been hitting it off, thanks for asking. I've been avoiding Max anyway possible. Emily's making very good progress though, almost enough to beat me at Nationals in a few months. To my surprise, Kaylie, Kelly and I have been making nice. Tara and Jake almost kicked me out of the gym a couple of times. Finally, I think I'm falling in love with my very bad decision making coach." I slid my arm around her waist, and easily picked her up to place her on the counter.

"Sasha!" she yelped. I placed myself inbetween her legs and she quickly wrapped them around my waist, trapping me with no space between us. She giggled and pressed her forehead against mine, her blonde hair falling around us.

"I make bad decisions, huh?" She nodded and wrapped her arms around my neck. My hands landed on her thighs and I gave them a squeeze.

"Yes, and I'm the only one who isn't going to to hate you when you come back. Well, Kelly won't either because she just figured that you would come around again, but Emily and Lauren will be ready to claw your eyes out when you're back." I felt my heart sink at her words. I really had messed up coming to back Cambria. I felt I was too busy thinking about myself and Payson that I didn't consider any of the other girls. I felt like a bloody idiot when I looked at the big picture. I abandoned the girls even after I promised them I won't after the first time.

"Sasha." Her voice broke me out of my thoughts. I looked up into her crystal, clear blue eyes. "Where did you just go?" she asked threading her little fingers into my hair. I shook my head, trying to clear the thoughts away.

"I was just thinking about when we should leave." She rolled her eyes, certainly not believing what I had just said, appointing me with another stern look for me to tell her the truth. "Okay, okay, I was thinking about how I'm going to face them again. I really did mess up this time, didn't I?" She sighed and pulled me in for an embrace. The smell of coconut flooded through my senses again as the tips of her blonde hair tickled my neck.

"It's okay Sasha, they'll eventually forgive you." she whispered into my ear. I shook my head, disagreeing with her.

"I already betrayed they're trust once, when I went to Snagov, but now I doubt they'll want to lay eyes on me ever again." She snuggled into the crook of my neck and whimpered.

"I know it'll take them a while to gain your trust back, but they will. They love you Sasha, deep down they know that without you, they can't make it to the Olympics. You just have to work at getting their trust back." She mumbled into my neck. Her breath tickled the patch of skin her lips hovered above as she pressed a kiss to it. I pushed her back enough to look into her eyes.

"What would I do without you?" I asked. She pressed a kiss to my lips and smiled smugly.

"Whatever did you do in the past month?" I let out a groan. This month was plain torture. Fishing was a good hobby, but doing it everyday was just painful. She threaded her fingers through my hair and pulled me into her lips. I happily obligated and kissed her back. She slipped her hand up my shirt and explored my chest as I ran my hands up her back and to her neck. As caressed it and she let out a small moan. I smiled at how she melted like butter under my fingers, all the tension out of her system. We eventually pulled back, cursing the need for oxygen.

"We should get going before it gets too late." I whispered into her ear, my hot breath sending a shiver through her body. I smirked and pulled back, ready to pack my bags into the truck, leaving her speechless on the kitchen top.

We both knew that this was going to be a long drive back to Boulder with all to discuss. In the truck, Payson was so quiet, I was afraid I wouldn't want to hear what was going through her mind.

"What's wrong, love?" She continued to stare out the window, as though it held the key to what she was looking for.

"Payson?" I tried again. This time she broke out of her daze and looked at me with her eyes brimming with tears. Puzzled, I reached out and wrapped my arm around her shoulder, pulling her into my shoulder. She nuzzled into the juncture between my shoulder and neck and let out a sob.

"What's going on, love?" She looked up and sent me a soft smile. Her hair was caked to her face, stained with tears. Even then she looked beautiful. I pulled her in for a kiss, but she turned away before I could reach her lips.

"Where does this leave us?" she asked in a small voice. I sighed and looked back out at the road.

"Where do you want to be?" She pressed her lips in a straight line and looked up at me, her eyes shining of love.

"The Olympics are less than a away, I don't think I can afford distractions right now." I looked up to meet her gaze and nodded. I was a little disappointed that she looked at us as a distraction, but I knew it was for the best. She reached out and intertwined our hands.

"This isn't for forever is it? We'll get our happily ever after?" I gave her a tight smile and focused on the road, trying not to meet her gaze.

"Sasha." This time her voice wasn't sweet and innocent, it was angry and confused. I didn't answer, knowing it would probably lead to further remorse.

I knew I loved her, but there was a part of me that knew that anyone, but me would be better for her. I didn't want to be there if it was going to ultimately hurting her. Payson deserved someone better than me, someone that could offer her happiness in every way.

"SASHA!" she punched my arm. I broke out of my daze and looked at her.

"What was that for dragă?" She rolled her eyes and pointed me with a stern look that made me cringe.

"What's on your mind?" I sighed and looked at her with a small smile to satisfy her. I was trying to weigh my options on what to say to her.

"I just… I think you should wait it out before you make any decisions about who you want to be with." I watched as her eyes went wide in a mixture of anger and resentment.

"Wh-what are you s-saying?" she stuttered. I saw as she lost the color in her face. I felt like I was slowly breaking her away.

"Payson…" I reached out to her hand, but she pulled it away. We both sat in an uncomfortable silence. I felt like I was doing exactly what I was trying to avoid.

I was hurting her.

_Payson's POV _

_Did he just say he didn't want me? _

I felt my heart sink. I knew it. Why would a guy like Sasha Belov love me? I should've just stuck to Max. Guys like Max are safe, if they love you, they'll stick around.

Sasha turned the truck into the Rock and parked it next to the Airstream. We sat in a silence that neither of us were willing to break. He pulled the keys out, but neither of us made a move to get out of the truck. We sat for several minutes, just itching to address what had happened.

_Suck it up Keeler, he doesn't owe you an explanation. _

I got up and opened the door. I felt a tear trying to make its way out of my eye, I blinked it away. I wouldn't let Sasha see how he really affected me.

"Payson…" He tried to grab my hand as I exited the truck. I slammed the door shut and continued walking. "Payson!" I turned on my heel and gave him a sharp glare.

"I'll see you tomorrow at training, coach. Since that's all I'm ever going to be to you, your gymnast."

"Payson!" He ran up to me and spun me around so I would face him. Before I could react, he lowered his mouth onto mine. I didn't have any time to react before he deepened the kiss, pushing his tongue into my mouth. My hands flew to his shoulders to push him away, but instinctively pulled him closer, relishing his feel. He let one hand get lost in my loose curls and pulled me closer, closing any distance between us. I let out a soft whimper which set him over the edge, he lifted me up to his height and spun me around once, before putting me back on the ground.

After for what seemed like hours, we pulled away, breathlessly. Our bodies were flush together. I could feel his heart beating to mine through the thin fabric of our shirts.

"Payson," he whispered. It sounded like the hum of the wind. I looked up at him. His eyes were clouded into a storm of emotions. I lifted my hand and lightly brushed it across his five o'clock shadow, he leant into the touch, closed his eyes and let out a sigh before opening his eyes to meet my gaze.

"Why…" my voice broke before I could continue. "Why don't you want me?" He sighed and lifted my chin with his index finger to meet his gaze.

"Of course I want you Payson, I want you too much, but you said it yourself, the Olympics are less than a year away and you need to focus. I meant what I said in the letter when I said I'll keep my promises, if you would take me." He sighed, "I want you to be able to think about it, and not jump to any sudden decisions. The fact is, I'm not the best person for you to be with. You deserve to be happy and it would be better for you if you were with guys like Max, or Nicky." I tried to wiggle away from his arms when those words sunk in. He stiffened his grip on me. "Listen to me Payson!" I stopped moving and stared at him, frustrated with his assumptions of what is best for me, but I let him continue. "I love you Payson, but I want you to be able to be a normal teenager for a while. You will be giving up being a normal teenager if you decide to be in a relationship with me."

_Why would he think they were better? Don't I get to choose what was right for me? _

"Sasha, you are full of bullshit aren't you? I know you think you're doing what's best for us, but do you ever stop to listen to yourself? I was _miserable_ without you here and I was finally looking forward to you being here with me, but now you think I would be _better_ with _Max _or _Nicky?_ You know what Sasha? Fine. Whatever apparently only _I _thought we had is over." He reached out for me, but I shook him off. I ran to the curb of the Rock, pulled out my cell phone and dialed speed dial. I listened to a few rings go by when he picked up.

"Hey, I know I didn't really call back after Worlds, I just had a lot going on. So what do you say? Let's go to dinner and back to your place? Okay, pick me up at 8. Bye Max."

_If Sasha wants me to be a normal teenager, then bring it on. _

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><p><em>AN Thanks to anyone who's still following my story! Please R&R! A few people who reviwed earlier liked the idea of comparing Max and Sasha, so if you bear with me, the next chapter is going to be full of it! Please leave a review of what you think! Hope you like it! _


	6. A Drunken Night

_A/N For those of you who reviewed saying you liked the Max and Sasha comparrison, I'm hoping you like this chapter. A big thanks to LauraW89 whos review kept me going. Hope you enjoy this chapter!_

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><p>Chapter 5<p>

_Sasha's POV _

Sasha Belov was a lot of things, but he liked to think stupid wasn't one of them. But he couldn't help but feel that way when he watched a very angry Payson Keeler march away from his arms.

_What have you done now Belov? _

I paced back and forth in the Airstream, trying to think of a way to make sense of this to Payson. How could I make her believe that I was helping her by doing this? Finally, after much deliberation, I picked up the phone and quickly sent a text for help.

_Sasha: Sorry to bother, but I need help. You up for a drink and some chat? _

_Marty: What's with all the favors? And where are you? _

_Sasha: I'm back in Boulder, explain later, you in? _

_Marty: Yeah sure, I'll be at the Rock in an hour. _

I dropped my phone onto the tiny bed and ran a hand through my hair. How could I be so bloody stupid? I should have let her choose what she wanted, I need to stop taking authority of these issues.

After an hour of marching back and forth, I was pretty sure I caused dents on the floor of the Airstream. I heard the knocking of the door and opened it to find Marty with a smug smile settled on his face.

"Whoa Belov, why do you always look like someone hit you with a vicious animal when I see you?" I chuckled and followed him outside and sat on my 'furniture' as I liked to refer to it, even though it was just two lawn chairs and a table. The table had a couple of beer bottles that I had set up earlier when I invited Marty.

"So what happened ol' boy?" He took the seat across from me and opened himself a beer bottle. "Did Keeler butter you up to come back here?" he had a smile settled on his face, one I wanted to punch off his bloody face.

"Shut up, I think I really screwed up." I took a big gulp out of the bottle and felt it go hot down my throat.

"Well, that's what you get for falling in love with one of your gymnasts Belov. What happened now? Did you say something stupid?" I downed the entire bottle at his words. Did I say something stupid? Yes. Of course. I just nodded, giving him complete access to laugh till his sides hurt, instead I got the complete opposite.

"What did you say, Sasha?" His voice was filled with genuine concern, not just pity for passing the time between now and going back to Denver. I opened another bottle and continued to drink my sadness away to a distant numbness.

"I told her that she should live life like a normal teenager till the Olympics, and then she can choose if she really wants to give up her freedom by being with me." The words rung in my head, and I downed another bottle and voluntarily took out another bottle. Marty sighed and stared at me, disappointed.

"She loves you just as much as you love her, so why would you say something this stupid? This is exactly like you Belov, you are happy you have something, but then you screw it up. I thought you had finally changed and found love, but no. If you really love her you should have let her make her own decisions and not just jump to random conclusions." I groaned at his words. I felt my vision went blurry, and my words came out slurred.

"But she needs to be normal for a while" I dropped my empty bottle and reached for another, but I was cut short when Marty reached out and moved my hand away from the bottles.

"Okay ol' boy, drinking yourself to a stupor isn't going to solve your problem; it's just going to lead me to another problem of trying to sober you up till morning."

"Too late" I mumbled. That was the last thing I remembered before passing out on my lawn table. I heard Marty moan in the distance about having to stay overnight now, but I didn't care.

_Payson's POV _

I pinned the last bit of my hair up and pointed hairspray bottle towards the last strand of hair. Deep down I knew this wasn't the best plan, but if Sasha wants me to be a normal then this is what he's going to get.

I looked in the mirror. I didn't recognize the girl who stared back at me. Her hair was perfect, like Lauren. Her makeup was perfect, like Kaylie. She looked like she had a great personality, like Emily. But when you looked past all that, it was just Payson Keeler.

I shook my head. I looked good, and it was all for Max. I smiled and went over to my phone and fired a quick to Kaylie.

_Payson: Hey, Sasha's back at the Rock. _

_Kaylie: Yay! Good job Pay! You were gone for two days, I had a lot of covering to do! How did you get him back? Did you tell him you loved him? _

I didn't know how to respond to her. What was I supposed to say? We established that we loved each other but then he told me to be a normal girl for a while? Well that wouldn't sound right. I let out a sigh and started typing.

_Payson: Nothing like that, I don't love him. I'm going on my date with Max in a few minutes. I love Max, not Sasha. _

Even to my own ears that sounded like a lie. Well, it was worth a shot. I pressed Send and waited for a response.

_Kaylie: Pay… Don't do anything irrational. Wow I never thought I would say that to you. But seriously, it's not right for you to go out with Max because you can't be with Sasha. _

Why would Kaylie assume that. I'm not saying that its not true, but was I really that obvious about it? I did love Max, I think.

_Payson: Why would you think that. Nothing is ever going to happen between me and Sasha, not that I wanted anything to happen. _

_Kaylie: Pay… What really happened in Cambria? Did Sasha say something?_

_Payson: No. I swear nothing happened. I'm fine. Things are just getting back to normal. I promise. _

_Kaylie: Okay… But be safe _

_Payson: Sure. Bye Kay. _

_Kaylie: Bye… _

Right when we finished up, the door bell rang. I ran down and stairwell and opened the door. I couldn't believe who was standing in front of me.

"Can I come in?" I stood for a moment, trying to weigh my options. I eventually nodded and moved aside, letting him come in. He settled himself on the couch and I sat across from him. We sat in another silence and I decided to get to the point before Max got here.

"Let's cut to the chase, why are you here Marty?" He looked up and met my eyes, his flashing with concern. I could tell there was something important he wanted to discuss with me. It was his 'get out of my way' coaching face, which was quite intimidating.

"Payson, I know you love Sasha, and I just came to say that he loves you too. Don't let his ego get the best of you two." I rolled my eyes. Sasha made it clear he doesn't want me now. If his ego can't take a hit then I didn't want him either.

"He doesn't love me, he loves his ego. If he really loved me, he wouldn't be trying to make me decisions for me. I should be able to choose whether I want to be with him or Max or Nicky or anyone else. Now if that's all, I'd like you to leave before my date shows up and gets the wrong idea." Right on cue, the doorbell rang. I motioned for Marty to get out of the house and he nodded. I opened the door with Marty by my side. Outside, was Max standing with a bouquet of flowers wearing his signature smile. It was sweet, and it reminded me of how Sasha greeted me when we went to the ballet. He stood outside with a bouquet of flowers, wearing his signature smirk. It wasn't at all sweet, almost as if he knew he had me, cocky even. I shook my head.

_Don't force yourself to think about him Keeler, Max is here to take your mind off of him. _

I broke away from my thoughts and wrapped my arms around Max's neck, greeting him.

"Hey you." I smiled. He chuckled gave me a quick peck on the cheek before handing me the flowers.

"I saw these and thought they looked beautiful, just like you." I felt a blush creep onto my cheeks.

"You're sweet…" I trailed off as he sought my lips. I panicked, trying not to be obvious about it. Luckily, Marty broke the moment by clearing his throat quite loudly. I swallowed thickly, getting ready for whatever he was about to say.

"Really Pay?" Marty asked scratching his head. "You're ditching him for this douche?" My eyes went wide as Marty mentioned Sasha in front of Max, who looked both confused and petrified. Before I could think of a response, Marty continued. "Anyway, I have to go before he drinks even more than he already did, I left him kinda passed out outside the Rock when I showed up here. Bye Payson." He waved and appointed Max with a stern glare. "Bye idiot, you better be worth it." He looked back at me. "He seriously better be worth it." Before he could say anything else, I cut him off.

"Leave. Bye Marty." He nodded with a smug smile settled on his face and headed back to his car, and drove away.

Once Marty left, Max and I had nothing to say. Well, I had nothing to say. Max on the other hand probably had a bunch of questions flying through his head that he didn't address because it would be rude. That was another thing that sent him apart from Sasha. Sasha was an open book. He asked whatever came to mind, not minding what people thought of him. It was something I loved about him. I shook the thought off again.

_Stop it Keeler! You're not helping yourself._

"So, let's go?" Max offered in the awkward silence. I quickly nodded and he took my hand and led me to his car. When we drove to dinner, we sat in another silence.

_This is going to be a long night. _

_Max's POV _

Did Marty Walsh just call me a douche? And an idiot? What's going on here? Is this because I didn't go the Denver Elite and came to the Rock? Not that I didn't have a good reason to do that.

I wanted to train at the same gym as Payson Keeler. The miracle girl. She stole my heart the moment I met her. She had the power of a thousand warriors and was fearless. There was nothing that could faze her. She was very one sided though, I had always thought that women were very hard to figure out, gymnasts even harder, but Payson changed that. From the moment I saw her, I haven't seen a single weakness. She was the strongest person I have ever met, and I think I love her.

For a while, I thought she loved me too. We took care of Phoebe together and she told me she loved me at Worlds. Those words made it all worth it. I felt like I was losing her when we got back from Worlds though. She was very distant, almost like she was purposefully avoiding me. At the after Worlds party at Kaylie's house, I vaguely saw her a few times, but she never acknowledged my presence. Towards the middle of the party, she disappeared all together. I had started to think that out relationship was a mistake when I heard my phone ring.

_It was only twelve in the afternoon and I was already ready to drink away my problems. Payson Keeler had minimized our contact to practically nothing ever since Worlds, and it frightened me. Pacing around the kitchen table, I heard my cell vibrating on the kitchen counter top. I snapped it up and say it was Payson. I clicked Talk and anxiously waited for her to speak. _

"_Hello…" I started unsure of what to say. _

"_Hey, I know I didn't really call back after Worlds, I just had a lot going on." I didn't know how to respond to that. Inside, I was as happy as a kid in a candy store knowing Payson wasn't mad at me, yet I was speechless, so she continued. _

"_So what do you say? Let's go to dinner and back to your place?" I joy bloomed in my chest. There was nothing, I was going on a date with her tonight. _

"_Yeah sure, that sounds fun. Can I pick you up?" _

"_Okay, pick me up at 8. Bye Max." _

"_Bye Payson…" I was overwhelmed with joy. Payson and I were going on our first actual date. This is amazing. _

My thoughts were shattered by Payson's voice asking me where we were going to dinner. She seemed very distracted ever since Marty gave me an indirect verbal lashing. I decided to address it when we took out reservation in the restaurant.

Soon, I pulled into the restaurant and we took our seats on our designated table. I ordered a mango smoothie, but Payson had other ideas. She ordered a Scotch. Since when did the determined Payson Keeler he knew ever order alcohol? Even before I mentioned the awkward moment with Marty, she gulped down 3 cups of Scotch, and looked drunk.

"Payson… you're getting a little tipsy, what's wrong?" She giggled mindlessly at my words and reached out and held my hand.

"I love him so much, but I can't show it." She slurred out. I frowned in confusion. Was she talking about the same person Marty mentioned? If yeah, then why did Marty know this guy?

"Pay… why does Marty know about the person you love? Who do you love?" she looked up at me, her blue eyes stormy and at the verge of tears.

"Of course Marty knows, he knows him so well and he knows I love him too." She began sobbing into the table napkin set out folded in the shape of a pyramid. Her blonde curls fell around her face which was planted on the table.

"I love him so much, and Marty hates Max because of it, why would he hate Max because of what I did?" She continued to sob. At this point I was just confused. Why was she talking to me like I wasn't there? Maybe she doesn't love anybody else and is just plain drunk. I decided to get her out and back to her house before she did something else she regretted.

"Okay Pay, I'm going to take you home." I mumbled as we were making our way to the car. She slumped into the passenger seat. As I got into the drivers seat and started driving, I looked towards her. She looked like a mess. The girl sitting next to me was not the level headed Payson I thought I knew.

"Payson, which way is your house again?" I asked, trying to spark up a conversation.

"I don't wanna go home..." she trailed off.

"Okay, where do you wanna go?" she looked at me deviously.

"I told you, I wanna go to your place." I was surprised. When she told me on the phone, I hadn't imagined that she was serious. Why would she do that?

"Payson, you're drunk, I don't want you to do anything you might regret when you wake up sober in the morning." She smiled at me widely and fluttered her eyelashes at me.

"I want to, I promise." I didn't know what to say. I simply drove her to Austin's lake house and helped her out of the car. She wrapped her arms around my neck and pulled me towards the house. I wasn't sure whether this was the greatest idea or not, but I let her pull me in through the door way. Just when our lips were about to meet in a heated kiss, something interrupted us.

"Pay!" yelled a powerful, yet little voice from the other side of the living room. Payson slowly unlocked her arms around my neck to look at who was calling her. There stood a petite brunette accompanied by a shirtless Austin, standing in front of us, eyes reading of disappointment.

"Whoa didn't mean to disturb what you two had going on." I gestured at Austin in only his pants. He smirked, but it instantly disappeared when Kaylie shot him a deathly glare.

"For your information, we weren't doing anything. We were just watching a movie, and it got hot" replied Mr. Kobalt.

"Can't imagine why" I muttered under my breath, which earned me a glare from both of them. I lifted my hands in mock surrender and supressed a laugh.

"Anyway, Payson what are you doing?" The drunken Payson lit up at Kaylie's voice and stumbled towards her.

"Kaylie bear! What are you doing here!" she wrapped her arms around Kaylie and squeezed her hard.

"Whoa Payson" she patted her back slightly and smiled. "Not that I don't love that your all happy, but are you drunk?" She admonished her thought by waving it away.

"Just a couple of Scotches, no biggie! I'll be fine!" Kaylie shook her head in disappointment.

"Max, for a smart guy, you're turning out to be an idiot. Why would you let her drink that much? And Scotch? Really?" Kaylie shot at me. I really did feel like an idiot. Why did I not stop her at the one Scotch? Why did I let her drink at all?

"Come on Pay, we're going home. Sasha's going to kill you if he finds out." With those words, Payson's head snapped up.

"Max… Sasha… I love him so much Kaylie! What if he finds out! What will I do!" She pulled Kaylie in for a hug and started sobbing again.

"I know she's drunk, but did she just say that she loved Sasha?" Kaylie stiffened at Austin's words as her eyes went wide.

"N-no, s-she said that, that, she l-loved Max a-and that Sasha can't find out! Get it straight Austin!" she snapped and led herself out the door with Payson leaning on her for support.

At that very moment Austin and I shared the same thought. For a drunk girl, Payson Keeler sure wasn't subtle about what she was feeling. Now if only we could figure out what it meant.

_Kaylie's POV_

"Three Scotches, really Pay! I knew you would end up doing something stupid like this! I told you not to go, but you didn't listen!" I was half mindedly yelling at Payson, who I knew wasn't listening.

"Just drive me home Kaylie bear" she mumbled, the words coming out slurred.

"And another thing!" I yelled. "What's with calling me Kaylie bear! You haven't called me that since Gymnastics camp when we were like 8!" That brought a smile on Payson's face. I rolled my eyes and drove into the Rock.

"Morning already? I don't want to train yet! Make Sasha go away!" I snickered at her words. She sounded like a five year old at the verge of tears. If she was going to act like a 5 year old, I was going to treat her like one.

"No, take a nap Pay bear, I just want to have a word with our coach. You know our coach? Yeah I just need to have a little chat with him. I'll be right back, okay Pay?" she smiled like a child and nodded. I got out of the car and stomped towards the Airstream where a dark silhouette fumbled inside. I walked up and banged on the door, angrily and when there was no answer, I kicked it.

"Sasha open this door _right now_! Don't even try to pretend you aren't there! I see you in there!" The door flew open right as I finished, except it wasn't who I expected it to be.

"Marty?" I tilted my head in confusion. "What are you doing here?" He barked out a laugh.

"Belov was feeling down and wanted to talk, but he instead got himself drunk, so I'm stuck here making sure he doesn't do anything stupid." I sighed, and met his eyes before laughing.

"Wow, they're so alike it's kind of funny." He looked at me, his eyes filled with confusion. For a smart guy, Marty sure didn't catch on fast.

"Who's alike?" I chuckled.

"Who do you think? Payson and Sasha." He nodded in agreement. Clearly, he was stuck on drunk patrol too.

"Why? She upset too?" I nodded, knowing he was probably just playing dumb.

"Not just upset, she got drunk off her little ass, and almost told Max and Austin that she loves Sasha, luckily I was there to, let's just say interpret her words differently."

"Oh that doesn't sound good." I nodded in agreement. For a smart, rational girl, Payson Keeler was definetly one to be blinded by love.

"Nope, but Sasha's going to have a rough day tomorrow, because I bet Austin's going to tell Max about how Sasha approved our relationship and might lift the no dating rule for everybody, so Max and Payson are probably going to ask him too. Now, do you want to tell me why they're so upset?" He sighed, scratched the back of his head and groaned.

"Sorry, if they want to tell you, they will." I knew I was bound to hear those words. I nodded, pretending not to be iritated by the response.

"Whatever happened back in Cambria, _really _upset Payson and I'm really worried for her. Whatever happened, they really need to work it out before it starts affecting her gymnastics, and because she's trying to replace Sasha with Max and I want to stop her before she does something really stupid."

"Sasha was just trying to protect her, hopefully they understand each other. If they really love each other, they will." I smiled at him mentioning love. It was really comfortable talking to him, almost like before my mother's affair was out of the bag.

"Marty, can I ask you something?" He nodded. I knew that I wanted to get some answers from him about my mom. I felt so mad at him for doing that to me, but I was partially also happy that he made her happy.

"Did you love my mom?" Marty let out a sigh and looked down at his shoes avoiding my gaze.

"Marty?" I asked, barely a whisper. He let out a sigh again and nodded, his eyes narrowing on me, but not with hate, more with regret.

"Yeah, I did, and I'm sorry that it was why parents split, I never meant to break your family apart. I'm very sorry Kaylie." I didn't know what to say. He broke my family apart and all he can say is sorry? Deep down I knew he was, but it still hurt.

"It's okay Marty, I know you made mom happy, so it's okay I guess. Just tell me something. Are you still seeing her?"

"No," he said surely. "I'm not going to lie and say I don't want to, but I respect her choice of ending it." I was glad he felt that way. At least he loved her enough to respect her choices.

"Thank you Marty, I'll see you around."

"Bye Kaylie." Before I could turn around to leave. I heard someone moan inside the Airstream.

"Payson… I-I'm sorry. I-I love you…" The smooth British accent trailed off. My eyes went wide and my jaw dropped. Marty looked petrified that I had heard that.

"Umm… let's keep that between just us. And… that's my queue. Bye Kaylie." I nodded and scurried back to the car.

_Payson was definitely going to hear about this._

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><p><em>AN Wow, I guess love does blind people, huh? I knew I wanted to write a chapter comparing Max and Sasha a little thanks to some of the earlier reviews, so I thought this would be a good time. Again, a big thanks to LauraW89 whos review kept me going. I was starting to think nobody was enjoying this story when I recieved this review, so thanks! Please R&R for more chapters! _


	7. Love

Chapter 6

Payson stirred awake and felt a massive headache come on. Kaylie and Becca were sitting on either side of her, holding each hand as though she might die if they didn't.

"She's awake!" yelled Becca. Payson didn't remember anything from the night before. She vaguly remembered some of her date with max, but nothing was too concrete. The entire night went by a blur and the last thing she needed was to be yelled at by her mother. Soon, Kim walked into the room, wearing her extremly disappointed face.

"Payson Anne Keeler, you got drunk on a week day before practice? This is so unlike you! I am very disappointed in you! And why didn't Max stop you from drinking?" Kim felt more than just rage when she looked at Payson. What was wrong with her? Where was that innocent, focused girl she had raised? Payson stared at her like she had three heads. Actually, Payson did see three heads, and had trouble focusing on any one of them.

"My head hurts." She mumbled and collapsed onto Kaylie's lap. Kaylie stiffened, and sighed. She knew how this was going to go down but really didnt want to deal with it. Kaylie jumped at the chance.

"Pay, let me go get you some eggs and bacon, it really helps when you're hung over." Kim glared at Kaylie and she instantly regretted saying it. "I've heard…." Her voice trailed off. Payson nodded and got off of her lap. She quickly made an escape out of the room. Nobody wanted to be there to face the wrath of Kim Keeler, including Payson.

"Pay… what happened? Why were you drinking?" Kim tried to approach the topic with as much rationality as she could muster, but it just wasn't normal. Payson would never do something this reckless or stupid. Kim knew something must have really set Payson off, and she wanted to do nothing more than to be there for her.

"I wanted to be a normal teenager, it's what normal girls do right?" Kim gawked at her words and rubbed a hand over her face, looking at her skeptically.

"Sis, hate to break it to you, but you aren't normal. You're an Olympic hopeful and you've never wanted to be normal. What gives now?" Payson looked up at Becca on the far side of the room. In plain sight, she was right. Payson never cared to be normal as long as she had an Olympic gold medal around her neck in 2012. This was just her being hung up on Sasha's words. She knew she shouldn't have let it get to her, and that he didn't mean it, but it really hurt her. More than she would ever admit to.

"Maybe that's all I want to be. Normal." Becca, Kim and Kaylie who had just entered the room all barked out a skeptical laugh. She had no idea what everybody found so funny. Was it really that hard to convince the people closest to her that she wanted something different, other than an Olympic gold medal?

"Pay, we all know you don't believe that, why don't you tell us what's really wrong?" Kim tried to reason with her, despite her previous failed efforts. Payson rolled her eyes and sat up. For a moment she felt as though the room spun, but she pushed that aside.

"I don't care that you don't believe me. Kaylie, we're late for training, let's go. It's 5 o'clock and we aren't even on the road yet." She got up and threw her gym bag over her shoulder. Kaylie snorted mumbled something to Kim.

"Yeah, every normal girl says that." Payson internally rolled her eyes again and ignored the comment. She continued her journey to the door and into the SUV. Kaylie followed and sat in the passenger seat, still not quite believing what had just happened.

The drive to the Rock was really silent. Neither of them spoke a word till the hit the pavement of the parking lot. After she parked the car and tried to get out of the car, Kaylie pulled her back in. The sun had barely risen and she really wasn't in the mood for Kaylie's effort to get her to talk. Payson pulled her arm away and crossed it over her chest.

"Payson, I know you love Sasha." She paused to make sure Payson was listening. "And I know he loves you too. Now what's wrong?" Her eyes went wide. How did she know Sasha loved her? What happened in Cambria, stayed in Cambria... right?

"W-What makes y-you say t-that?" She rolled her eyes and glared. I flinched.

"That doesn't matter. All that matters is that you tell me what happened in Cambria that's gotten you this worked up." She didn't sound sweet and innocent anymore. Her eyes were determined. Pure fire, and no fear. Rolling my eyes, Payson unlocked the door.

"That doesn't matter either. Nothing happened and nothing is going to. Yes, he loved me and yes I loved him. He made it clear he didn't want me and for all I'm concerned about, I don't care," she lied through her teeth and jumped out of the car.

Payson walked into the Rock and marched straight into the locker rooms before Kaylie could stop her. She stripped off her clothes and stepped into the steaming hot shower. Shivered at the contact of the hot droplets of water on her cold skin, she tried to figure out how to piece her life back together. She couldn't help it when a few tears slipped down her flushed cheeks. What had she gotten herself into? She still loved Sasha and she was trying fill the void in her heart by taking advantage of Max's love for her. Max didn't deserve that, and she clearly didn't deserve either of them.

Payson continued with her silent sobs in the cold, dark showers, hoping nobody would hear the great, Payson Keeler, in her moment of weakness.

_# _

Sasha sat in my office thinking of what to do. Any moment, Payson was going to walk in and start to practice. How was he supposed to pretend nothing had happened and continue where we had left off? He ran a hand through his disheveled hair and looked up to see Kaylie Cruz standing in front of him, wearing a disappointed look on her face.

"Hi Kaylie…" his voice trailed off. "What are you doing here? Practice doesn't start till 8 today, is something wrong…" she cut him off with a scowl. It was obvious he was about to take a lashing for something, just wasn't sure what it was yet.

"How dare you ask me what's wrong! A better question is what's wrong with you! What happened between you and Payson in Cambria? She's practically one more deed away from being put in a mental institution!" Sasha balked at her, his eyes wide with surprise. He shook his head and tried to find something to say.

"Nothing happened in Cambria, Kaylie. She just came and convinced me to come back to Boulder because you girls needed me here." She barked out a laugh. Sasha had never seen Kaylie so mad, ever in his life. She always seemed like a calm, level headed girl.

"You two keep saying the same thing, and it's getting old. I know she loves you, Sasha and I know you love her too. I'm just trying to figure out what happened in Cambria."

"Y-you think I-I l-love her?" He let out a nervous laugh and she rolled her eyes.

"Sasha I know you love her. You'd be surprised to know that things you mumble in your sleep" she mumbled and shuttered, trying to shake away the thought. Sasha raised his eyebrows. When would she have heard him mumble in his sleep?

"What. When did you see my sleep?" He asked, his voice reading of sheer panic. She chuckled.

"I came by to the Rock to yell at you about screwing up the Payson we all knew and loved, and Marty opened the door and I heard you mumble in your sleep from inside, but that's not the point. What did you say to her Sasha?" Sasha looked up at her. Her eyes were filled with concern towards the girl we all knew. He sighed.

"I told her… that she should be a normal girl for a while, before she decided whether she wanted to give up all the freedom it took to be with me." She nodded and a smile grew on her face.

"You don't know _how_ much that explains." She chuckled to herself. "wow you screwed up. You really don't know how mad she is at you, she went on a date with Max yesterday and she showed up at Austin's place drunk. If I wasn't there, I'm pretty sure they would have slept together. She also mentioned something about loving you, but I'm sure they didn't think much of it."

"They?" Sasha felt his pulse increasing. Who else heard about this? Sasha knew he was playing a dangerous game, and if this got out, it could ruin them both.

"Max and Austin but don't worry about it, I took care of it." Sasha slowly nodded, not knowing whether to painc or to feel relieved.

"And… Payson's here right now?" Sasha wanted to crawl under a rock and never face Payson again. After what he had done, he felt like the worlds biggest jerk. Kaylie nodded.

"You didn't think you could just ignore her all day, did you coach?" Sasha had to admit the thought crossed his mind more than just a few times.

"I can't can I?" He asked, more playfully that seriously. She shook her head.

"So, just to warn you, Austin most probably told Max about you approving our relationship yesterday, which means you're going to have to deal with Payson's wrath today." Sasha groaned and rubbed a hand over my face. When he approved their relationship, he didn't think about what it would mean for everyone else's romantic lives. Soon he was going to have to face a bunch of teenagers wanting to have their way with who they dated.

"Who's going to face my wrath?" His head snapped up at Payson's staggering voice. He met her red rimmed eyes, which matched his own. Hangovers aren't nice to anybody.

"Sasha is" Kaylie's voice cut through my thoughts.

"Why would Sasha feel my…" she trailed off and rolled her eyes. "Never mind." She placed her hands on her waist over her signature purple leotard and her hair in a bun.

"Kaylie, let's go stretch, I have a long day of training in front of me and I'm NOT looking forward to it. Sasha I need you to take a look at my beam routine. Thank you." With that said she turned a heel and marched out of the office, not turning back. Kaylie and Sasha stood there, dumbstruck to what had just happened.

"Am I the bloody coach or is she? I take it you still haven't told her about the no dating rule?" she shook her head. For once this morning, Sasha was glad at _something_ that had gone right.

"KAYLIE!" they both looked out the window. Payson was sitting in her split, motioning her to come down. Kaylie gave him her last stern look and leant down to say something.

"Do something or _I'm_ going to have to survive a day with Payson the gymnastics robot." She turned around and ran down the stairs over to Payson, and starting stretching her straddle. Sasha couldn't bear having to inform Payson that the no dating rule was being over turned. He couldn't bear having to stare and Max flirting with Payson all day around the gym.

_This was going to be a long day. _

_#_

_Focus Keeler, it's just you and the beam._

Payson gave herself a little pep talk before mounting on the beam. Every gymnast knows that the mount is the most important part of your entire routine. If your balance is off on the mount, there is almost no way to recover the balance.

She rose to the balls of her feet and took off for her Round off Arabian Walkover Mount. She ran, and pressed the palms of her hands hard, away from the earth, pounded on the springboard and twisted her body into a half twist and landed on her hands planted on the beam. She finished the rest of the walkover and firmly planted her feet on the beam. She quickly went into a split leap with a full turn and smiled when her balance was still intact. She swiftly went into her triple turn on one foot, her right leg parallel to the floor. She wobbled a little and felt a hand come up and steady her at the waist. She instantly froze, and the hand pulled away. She continued, with Sasha watching her every move. She did her full turn illusion and got ready for the dismount. She charged into a double back salto with a full twist and landed with a long stride to steady her balance, smiling widely and throwing her head back in the salute, proud of completing a G level dismount and not falling on her butt.

She turned to Sasha whose eyes were as wide as tennis balls and was frozen, staring at her with awe. For a few moments, neither of them spoke, just stood with huge, silly grins on their faces. Sasha opened his mouth, but no words came out. Finally he spoke,

"Oh. my. bloody god. Payson Keeler, did you just do a G level dismount?" Payson happily nodded and launched herself into his open arms. He blissfully spun her around a few times and brought her back down to her feet. She buried her head into the crook of his neck and he held her tight against his body. "Payson, with that dismount your DOD is a solid 5.7! You are bloody brilliant, love."

The moment he called her love, the both froze, not wanting to let go of each other. She pulled back just enough to look into his eyes. They were filled with love, just like the night he left. Before he could pull back her hands travelled towards the nape of his neck and, she pulled him in for a longing kiss. He didn't spend a single moment fighting it, he simply took control and kissed her with just as much force. He spent no time before deepening the kiss, and swept his tongue across her lower lip. She welcomed him and he explored my mouth. They both pulled away breathless and pressed their foreheads together, her one hand resting on the nape of his neck and the other on his chest.

"Payson," he breathed. She looked up into his blue eyes. "I love you so much, and I'm so sorry for being such an arse." Payson smiled and pressed a small, chaste kiss to his lips.

"I love you too, Sasha. And I forgive you for being such an arse." She pronounced the last word the same way he had, mocking his accent.

"Finally! I thought I was going to be stuck with the 'normal' Payson!" squealed Kaylie, who was leaning against the set of uneven bars, smiling innocently.

Sasha and Payson quickly jumped apart, and Payson felt a blush creeping up her neck. She looked up at Sasha who looked mortified. Kaylie seemed to have been amused by our display of affection because she looked like she was suppressing a giggle.

"Well, let's face it, I'll never be normal" said Payson, breaking the silence. Kaylie barked out a laugh.

"Pay, none of us will ever be normal, including you coach!" Sasha ran his hand through his already scruffy hair and searched around for a retort. Eventually he got tired and turned back into coach dictator.

"Kaylie on bars, Payson in my office." He started walking toward his office and realized neither of them were moving. "NOW!" he yelled, sending them flying to where they were supposed to be. Payson followed Sasha into the office and he shut the door behind him. Payson took her place in front his desk with a teasing smile playing on her face, batting her eyelashes at him.

"I'm sorry I've been _so_ bad coach, what are you going to do to me?" She asked in a playful tone. He took two long strides and trapped her between the desk and his solid rock body. He hovered over her, but refused to touch her, which drove her mad. She looked down at his stomach and started to trace the lines of his abs through his shirt. She traced up his chest, and cupped both her hands around his neck, pressing a soft kiss to his jaw. She looked up at his face, his eyes blissfully were shut. He opened them and met her eyes, sparking a smile on his face.

"I believe we got interrupted out there." He nodded towards Kaylie who was working on bars. His lips ghosted over mine, his hot breath hovering over her lips. "As I was saying, I'm truly sorry. I didn't mean to be telling you what to do when I told you to be normal." She chuckled. "And by the way, I didn't think you would ever in a million years get drunk." She wrapped her arms around his large torso and buried her face in his chest.

"Apparently I also almost blurted to Max and Austin that I loved you." He wrapped his arms around her small frame and pulled her closer.

"Yeah, and you almost slept with him?" she stiffened. Kaylie didn't mention that part to her. She felt her pulse increasing. How was he so calm about this?

"I'm sorry Sasha, but you really hurt me when you said that I needed to be normal. It made me feel like you didn't want me." His grip tightened around her and he rested his chin on the top of her head.

"I can't live without you love, you're the reason I wake up in the morning and come to this place, I would much rather prefer sleeping in dragă, ai încredere în mine." Payson pressed a kiss to his chest and pulled away, looking out the window as everyone started filing into the gym.

"Can we talk about this after practice? I still have to go perfect my double back salto with a full twist so I can have it ready by the Olympics, and you still have some explaining to do some of your gymnasts." She smiled proudly and Sasha pulled her in to kiss her forehead.

"Okay love, tell me when you're ready to talk." Payson nodded and skipped out of the office, her heart feeling whole again. She ran down across the floor to Kaylie who was chalking up her grips. Payson slipped her grips on and chalked them as well.

"Judging by the size of your smile, I take it you and Sasha are together?" she asked, her voice low so nobody could over hear them.

"We're going to talk about it after practice, but I hope so." Her smile grew wider at the mention of Sasha.

"I'm so happy for you Pay!" Payson nodded cheerfully in agreement. Before she could respond, she felt a pair of arms swoop her up from behind and force their lips onto mine. By instinct, she brought her hands up to his chest and pushed him away, hard. She looked up to see Max's face staring at her confused.

"What's wrong Pay…" he asked confused. Payson's eyes went wide, as did Kaylie's. Before either of them could muster and answer, a loud, angry voice boomed through the entire gym.

"Spencer! My office! NOW!" Max jumped at the sound, but made his way to the office.

"Oh god that can't be good." Payson looked at Kaylie and nodded in agreement.

"Is Coach Cranky back? What did I tell you!" she turned to find Kelly making her way towards her.

"Does he think he can just come back and start off where we left off?" Emily joined in at attacking Sasha and stood on the other side of her. Payson knew it was going to take some convincing, but she hoped they would give him a chance.

"You know what, we could have survived without him." However, her teeth clenched at the screeching sound of the bitch of the beam.

"Let's just give him a chance guys." She knew it wasn't going to work, but it was worth a try, right? She got eye rolls from both Lauren and Emily.

"I trusted him Payson, and he left _again, _how am I supposed trust him _ever _again?" Emily ranted. Payson let out a sigh and turned to face her.

"I don't expect any of you to trust him like you did before, but I _expect _you to try. I know he's going to try to gain your trust back, so I _expect _you to try your best here, just like he will." Again earning myself eyerolls.

"Till this gets out of hand, why don't we practice while we can?" she asked hopefully. Kaylie nodded and they headed towards the beam, leaving Lauren and Emily speechless. Right when they both hopped onto the four inches of wood, a voice boomed through the gym yet again.

"Payson, in my office!" She turned to Kaylie who gave her a small smile, and she was off to the small office on the other side of the gym, awaiting whatever was about to come.

* * *

><p><strong>AN **I'm not going to lie, after writing my new story in third person, and reading this over again, I don't like the way it sounds at all. The one thing I hate more than writing something bad, is continuing it knowing it could have been better. I really feel like I'm not doing my best with this story and it's killing me! So, I'm going to scrap this story and start from scratch. I'm so sorry I didn't think of all this before I started this story! I'm probably going to take a month or so to get this all organized, and I'm going to post it again with the same title. Again, I'm so sorry for the inconvienence! I can't stress that enough! So, work on this fanfic shall cease for now!

If you are reading this story, I promise I will keep you updated on the reconstruction of this story. Just leave a review and I will PM you about it every once in a while I make progress. Again, I'm sorry, but I'll make the story better! Promise! Till then, check out my other story, Champion from Ashes: The Rebirth of Payson Keeler.


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